Confessions.....

GOD BLESSED ME!!!!
  My life is blessed. I don't say it often enough. God gave me my husband. My husband is the most unselfish loving person I know. I don't know where I would be today if not for Carl. He is my crutch when i am feeling like I have no purpose. He is my love, my life, my all. He is my GIFT from GOD. I love you Carl!
 My friend Caitie has a Friend that started a confession blog.... I read Caitie's confessions and felt compelled to talk about and to admit to some of my own. Some confessions are good, some need working on....

PRAYING
   When I first met my husband years ago I quickly found out that his family prayed before meals. I was struck with fear of being asked to be the one to pray over our meal. I feared praying because I never prayed growing up except for special occasions, I feared I would have prayed wrong. It took me a while to get used to praying.... But, I am proud to confess that I no longer have a fear of praying. It is a nightly practice for me to pray for the safety and well being of all of my family. I am a PROUD PRAYER!!!


READING THE BIBLE
It saddens me that haven't made time to sit still and devote at least 1 hour out of my day to read. In this I know that I am not alone. But that fact that I am not alone in this does not make me feel better. I am my own person. It is ME who has to push myself to devote my time to reading the Bible. I need to work on this. I have a book called, "The Bible In 90 Days"...... It is my intent to challenge myself to read just those 12 pages a day.


MAD AT GOD
   When I was younger about 4 years after I had found out about epilepsy I had had my medication lowered way to low. I started having seizure spells again. After this happened I became stressed, depressed, and had multiple anxiety attacks a day. I was furious with God, always asking "Why me, Why me, Why is me who has to be different, Why is it me who has to have epilepsy?" I confess that I hated that I had epilepsy but I wouldn't wish this on anyone. The more I dwelt on epilepsy, my anger grew stronger and my anxiety attacks intensified. Anxiety attacks are horrible, I did a turn about with God. It did me no good to be mad. Instead I turned to begging God, "Please take me, I don't want to live this way anymore." That was foolish of me and selfish as well. I was privileged with this life that God blessed me with. I will always remember that until the day God calls me home!


Those are my biggest confessions!